The question of responsibility is constantly substituted by accusation and guilt
Intention to stop and exit the fight should become a constant reminding factor
Seeing your own mechanism starts to transform it
Everything that you start to see—starts to transform
You do what you want, but you are not aware of who is it in you that wants it
Unless an intention is spoken aloud it is not fixed in consciousness
What you see in me is in you. You cannot see something in someone, unless it is present in you. You can only see in another human being what is in you.
Guilt is energy which allows you to understand the truth of another human being (the truth of your subconscious side)
The more frequently and the more clearly you will discuss your personality as a side observer, the faster your changes will occur
Your aim is not to retaliate and hurt your partner, but to understand which shadow part of yours that you do not accept he/she shows you, and express it in order for harmonization to occur
If you habitually suppress accusation, this is exactly what you have to express now; not in order to retaliate and hurt your partner, but to see who is it in you that accuses, which role you identify with now. If this is your aim, then this is the first step to de-identification.