To start on the way to Wholeness means to stop fighting yourself. When you get tired of this war and start to long for the inner wholeness, you will create an intention to unify your inner parts in Love. When will this happen to you? It depends on the strength of your intention to become whole.
As long as you are identified with the parts of your personality, you don’t want wholeness. As long as you are identified with the parts of your personality, you will continue to recreate the fight. The time to transfer from the state of duality to the state of unity has come.
How can you get started on the way to Wholeness?
— How to get started on the Way to Wholeness? I can tell you how I did. It was not a simple process. As every one of you, I experienced many lives here. In those lives, I fought as you did. In my current incarnation, I came to a point when I was able to stop this fight. I felt very tired of this war. Emotionally I felt as a death row prisoner.
A powerful inner passion aimed to end this inner war brought me to understand all of this. This is my experience. Every one of you will experience it differently. You will need to perform this revolution in your inner world on your own.
I will describe the pointers that helped me on my way, but you will have to complete your way on your own. You start on this way when you start to understand that you are fighting yourself. When you fight and try to prove something to your wife, husband, parents, kids, or coworkers, you try to prove it to yourself. You want to prove to them that you are right. When you do that, you fight yourself.
I did not say there was no pleasure in it. No, there is a lot of pleasure in it. If you still like it, you can continue the fight. You want to prove yourself to be right. You want to win. You will win, but at the end, this victory will change to defeat. It means you are not ready to start on the Road to Wholeness yet.
When you experience difficulties and suffocate from the dual problems, you start to search for the exit, as a drowning man searches for a breath of air. When your level of passion to stop the fight approaches the level of passion of a drowning man for a breath of air, you will be able to get on the Way to Wholeness. Then and only then will you be able to walk this way in awareness. You can make the first step on this way when you experience the need to love yourself, and to become your own partner.
Many people suffer because it seems to them that they are not loved. Everyone is searching for love. In reality, we search for love because we don’t love ourselves. The external world simply reflects the real state of affairs to us. The first step is to start seeing that you fight yourself. You can make this step when you have a strong intention to stop the fight. When this step is made, you need the knowledge of Holistic Psychology as bad as you need air, because it describes this way clearly and in minute details, explaining traps and difficulties you will meet on the way.
You can only understand yourself holistically when you start to perceive your personality holistically, i.e. start to self-observe and become aware of yourself.
I have already told you that the personality of a human being represents a set of assignments, similar to a set of assignments a high school student have to solve prior to graduation. You and only you have to solve these assignments. To understand yourself holistically is to solve all the assignments written in your personality. This is the way that consists of many steps.
Many people are still on the kindergarten level of consciousness. This is not an accusation. This is the characteristic of the ages of the souls that are present on Earth. Many souls still believe in miracles. They believe that some great guru will come, touch them, and that will lead to their enlightenment. That’s not going to happen. I can assure you of that.
In order to become whole you need to pass many steps. As a ninth grade student needs to complete all his courses and to pass all his tests to move to the tenth grade, you need to work on and to pass all your assignments.
You are going to encounter many temptations on this way. I want to say a few words on the difficulty of the subject we study based on the years of work with people. For example, someone wants to schedule a consultation with me. He calls me and says, “That’s it! I have to have a consultation with you or I am going to die”. He calls again two hours later, and says, “I don’t have the money,” or “My child got sick,” or “My car is broken”. Why does this happen? This is the temptation I discuss, i.e. the personality fight for survival.
What is survival? People usually perceive it as the need to have money to feed, cloth, and shelter themselves. I will broaden this notion. Survival is an attempt to preserve a certain structure in the form it currently exists. Our personality is made out of many separated parts. For the personality to survive is to preserve itself the way it currently exists, i.e. as a number of separate parts that fight for their survival.
What does your personality feels when you hear or read what I say? It starts to feel the threat for its existence, because I talk of the different axiom—the axiom of life. You personality is afraid of changes. It will stop being what it is—the personality created for survival. It will turn into something that is created for life. We are discussing the most important moment now. Every one of you will approach this moment, and some will stop here, unable to go forward.
This is a temptation by survival. Moving on the way to Wholeness, you will have to make a choice. You will be offered something based on survival. It may be money, status, etc. What are you going to choose?
Why do I move in that direction for so many years? I was choosing, and I continue to choose the direction of Wholeness. It was and it continues to be very difficult. Why am I telling you that? I am telling you this in order to show you what will happen to you. Everything I say is based on my own experience. Perhaps this is happening already.
In order to perceive yourself holistically, you will have to become aware of your personal program. I call a personality a personal program, because in reality it is a program. It works very precisely, similarly to Windows in a computer. Something was downloaded into it, and now it only provides what was downloaded into it. So, what was downloaded into your personal program?
The personal program of every human being is individual. All snowflakes look alike, but when one looks at a snowflake closely, one sees that it is as unique as every human personality. Therefore, you will not be able to find a book to read to learn about your personality. You will have to investigate this personal program yourself. This is what I call self-investigation.
Investigation of your personal program will provide you with an opportunity to become whole. When you investigate your program completely, you will be able to change it. You will turn into a human being of the next level of consciousness.
Therefore, the next question is very important here. Who introduced this program? Where are the origins of this program? The origins of your program are your father and mother, and their conflicts: even if they don’t live with you, even if both of them have passed away, they are inside of you. So, investigation of the program downloaded by your father and mother is a very important and basic moment of what I call self-investigation and movement toward your Wholeness.
Do you have the experience of observing yourself? Can you look at yourself from the side and record what happens in you? The ability to remain a detached observer of the events that occur in your inner world is the ability of the Observer.
Observation will allow you to catch the feeling of guilt and accusation. It will allow you to see in which particular situations you experience these feelings. What kinds of thoughts precede and give birth to these states. By observing you accumulate the material about your personal program and gradually open the mechanisms of the fight, downloaded into your program. These are the steps toward your holistic perception of yourself.