TGL # 32. The chief feature of your personality

Your minds are overloaded with a huge loads of information. That prevents you from learning the most important thing. I will not be able to give you this thing. No one can give it to you. Not a single authority on Earth can give this to you. But this can happen. When, how, and whether it will happen to you is not known to me.

So, what can I do? I can clear up your inner space in order to help this process to occur. If this space is not cleared, nothing new will be able to enter you. If my room is stuffed with the old furniture, I need to take it out in order to furnish it with something new. That’s my work. You will tell me what is inside you, and I will help you clean your room.

The chief feature of your personality

— What is the false personality? It is an aggregation of traditional, habitual for a human being thoughts, feelings, and actions interconnected in one sequence. They create a very strong frame in a human being, a certain personality structure. In some people this structure is very hard, in others it is softer. Some of these structures consist of four pillars and a roof, while other structures are more complicated.

The false personality strives for one thing only: it wants to survive. It can only survive by strengthening and maintaining itself. It can strengthen itself by using one method only, by constantly repetition. For example, how can a trait such as kindness maintained? How does it manifest itself? This trait is frequently found in personalities of human beings. It plays a big part in some personalities, and small part in others, depending on how it reinforces itself. For example, you give money to every beggar you meet on a street saying, “I am a very kind man”. People consider you kind, and you consider yourself to be kind. We can exaggerate any personality trait in order to see how it reinforces itself. That’s what I would like to discuss now.

— Can we take a look at the trait called offensiveness?

— Personality of a human being consists of multiple parts or fragments. In some personalities offensiveness can occupy a big part. Personality can be compared to a tent made out of metal tubes. Offensiveness may represent a large tube in one’s personality. It might be the largest trait someone’s personality is built upon. Naturally, the personality tries to reinforce its structure by reinforcing the traits it consists of. How does it do that?

— A man can provoke other people to rub against some of his traits.

— Yes, you can constantly try to reproduce and re-experience the feeling of being offended. In order to do that, you will have to have people around you who will offend you. In order for you to get offended, you need to have partners—actors who will play the opposite role, the role of the offender.

— It seems to me that all our traits exist only for others and in the imagination of others. If I were to live on a deserted island by myself, and not to demonstrate my traits to anyone, I would not have these traits. Therefore, all our traits exist in the imagination of others; we would not know and we would not think about our traits otherwise. If we were to ask a human being, “Why are you so offensive?” the answer will be, “No, I am not offensive. This is a normal reaction”. 

— So, this trait is present in a man and it is a very strong trait. The stronger the trait, the less he wants to see it.

— Perhaps that is the case. A man does not see himself from the side. He thinks he behaves normally and naturally. He does not think whether he is easily offended or not.

— There are two moments here. First, does he really have this trait? Second, does he see it? You did not separate them. Does one has a certain strong trait and does not see it or does he not want to see it?

— Yes. For example, vanity may be manifested strongly in one’s personality, but many people do not see it in themselves.   

— The most difficult part is to determine the main feature of the false personality. This trait is very difficult to see in oneself. This is the keystone everything gets built upon. If we remove this feature, the entire structure will collapse. If you were to approach a tent and to remove the main rod out of the foundation, the entire structure will collapse. The main feature of the false personality (and there may be few of them) represents a building block everything is built upon.

When one of us says something here, he manifests himself and if we observe closely, we will see the traits of his false personality and help him to see them on his own. It is easier to see this structure from a side. In some cases, it can be seen from the first glance; in other cases a longer period of time is necessary.

A man does not want to see the main feature of his false personality, because seeing it is going to lead to a revolution. What does it mean to see such a feature? It means to refuse it, as it is precisely this feature that makes one’s life horrible. It is precisely this feature that creates the hell a human being is living in. When you start to see this feature and what it leads to, you will not want to continue to recreate this hell.

— I have a question. Let’s say I destroyed the main feature of my false personality. Will one of my other features take over?  

—Destruction of the main feature will lead to revolution. You will not be able to discuss this in such a calm way. Something incomprehensible is going to happen to you. Disappearance of the main feature of the false personality leads to a total transformation of a human being.

The work we do here is practical work. I stress this constantly. We need to investigate ourselves, not theorize. What does it mean to investigate? It means to start seeing what you did not see in yourself before. You don’t need to learn anything new. You don’t need new information. You need to start seeing things in yourself you have not seen before.

— I am sorry, I want to …  

— Why are you sorry? Why do you feel sorry before you even said something?

— When you asked me why I am so offensive, I saw that I am afraid to offend. I saw another part of me. This part is afraid to offend other people.

— And what would happen if you were to offend someone? What kind of feeling would you experience toward someone you have offended?

— I have a trait of vanity in me. I am afraid others will think badly about me.  

— Perhaps that is the case, but there might be something else behind it. When I offend another human being, I pity him. Take a look at how sly this is. I said, “I pity him,” but in reality, I don’t pity him, I pity myself. And by not wishing to offend another human being, I, in reality, want to escape this unpleasant for me feeling. Bit, I say, “I am a good man. I don’t want to offend anyone.” This is not what this is all about. You don’t want to experience painful emotions connected to pity.

We are not talking about abstract things here. We are talking about the peculiarities of psychological processes that occur in a human being at the level of the mind, the feelings, and the body.

The knowledge of oneself is of utmost importance here. But, it is precisely this knowledge that people try to escape the most. Why? They want to escape this knowledge because it will show them the mechanical nature of their life. When you see this mechanical nature of yours, you will not be able to live the way you live.

The false personality is represented by the conditioned mind here. It is constantly occupied by and resists everything that can destroy its habits. All of us can observe a strong resistance that appears in our conditioned minds. However, every one of us also has a strong enough side that wants real changes.

***

Try to observe your thoughts, states, and bodily sensations. Try to observe how thoughts, feelings, and sensations appear, change, and disappear. The experience of such a non-judgmental registration of everything that is produced by the mind, by the emotional center, and by the body will open an opportunity for you to see your personality. Accumulation of the observations of the behavior of your personality will open up your personal program. This is the shortest way to find the most important thing about yourself—that you are not limited by the program, that you are an observer, that you are the Supreme Consciousness. This is the shortest way toward experiencing yourself as a Soul.

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