You have this hastiness in you that is being manifested in your pressured speech. Just listen. I speak now, and you want to say something in reply. An impulse appears, and it is difficult for you not to express it. Try to be in a state that is similar to a neutral gear position in a car. When you are in it, you can shift to any position, i.e. any state. This state of inner neutrality is observation. You can easily enter any state out of it. When a common man gets angry, he experiences multiple states: irritation, aggression, depression, etc. These states can last for a very long time before the cycle is complete. It is not necessary to experience the entire cycle. It is no necessary to complete this cycle if you learn how to get to the «neutral» state. This is the state of the observer.
There are no good and no bad states for the observer. Whatever happens, the observer observes it. The conditioned mind will appraise. The observer will observe the mind that appraises.