Self-investigation consists of tracking down the dualities of your personality. This chase is carried on by the Observer. The Observer has to be constantly vigilant, constantly aware. The Observer has to observe all the time. There is no bad states and no good states for the Observer, whatever happens the Observer simply observes. The conditioned mind will appraise, while the observer will observe the mind that appraises.
The opportunity to observe the ego shows that there is something higher than ego, something that can observe the ego. If there was nothing but the ego, such an observation would be impossible.
Think about yourself from the side. Observe yourself as if it was not you, but someone else. The more you think about yourself in such a way, the more you will start to feel the true you.
Investigation of the personal program is possible only out of the Observer
— The old code of the Earth is 666. It is also called the number of the beast, but it is simply a code that shows the three centers (intellectual, emotional, and physical) in the duality. The new code is 999. This is another code where the Observer is showing up. A third point. That’s what it is. This is awareness. The change in the codes from 666 to 999 represents a Quantum Leap. That’s what the Process is for every human being. You will not be able to investigate, unless you acquire the Observer or the third point. Unless you acquire it, whatever you do is going to be an illusion or a manipulation. The ego is a master of manipulations. It invents multiple illusions.
So, the Observer helps you to see how your dual program works. If you start to understand something out of this third point without fully accepting it, you will tie up your knots even harder.
How can you get to the Observer?
We are going to have these new energies now. They are practically unknown on Earth. These are the energies of Awareness or the Unconditional Love. They did not exist here previously.
Our Process is an experiment. We are the pathfinders. What do we need to do for this experiment to succeed? I am showing you what we need. The more you discuss your program, and the more you see it, the more aware you become.
I have a criterion. A man starts to talk. I have heard a lot here over the years. I ask him a question. If he does not answer, I do not dig further. The better you have figured out your program, the stronger your Observer will be. You have to be simultaneously aware of the intellectual center, the emotional center, and the physical center. At the end all three centers have to be harmonized. This harmony of the centers is not going to occur without the Supreme Aspect, without the Observer, without this third point. This is not going to happen without something that does not exist in the structure «three times two». There are three centers. Each center is in duality. You are just an experience. You are a pure experience. That’s what we just saw. I am an oppressor. I experience it. I have these thoughts, feelings, and I oppress others. Next, you flip into a victim. You are not aware of it. You are not aware of the interconnectedness of these two opposite roles. Without tuning with the Supreme Aspect, with the Observer, you will not be able to investigate your personal program. There should be something outside of your personal program. You will be able to observe and investigate your personal program only with the help of the Observer. Without the Observer you will not be able to observe. Without observation there is no investigation.
You have to turn to your Supreme Aspect and ask for it. Ask and you shall receive. Some feel that this is the prison with no exit, but time has changed. Ask and you shall receive. Turn to your Supreme Aspect. Ask. It’s time to ask. But in order to do that, you have to suffer thoroughly. If you have not suffered enough, you are not going to ask for it. What is there to ask, if you are doing well? The non-dual interest is to understand oneself and to collect oneself into one Whole.
— I have a question. There is a personal program, and it is dual. I take a certain duality of mine and I start to investigate it. Does this duality belong to the maternal program?
— The first duality your program has been fixed with is mother and father. You have to know your parents very well. They have downloaded your entire program.
— I investigate a certain duality, but there is both mother and father in this duality, right?
— There are different ways to look at it. You can investigate your mother and father, or you can take a specific duality. It is better to start with a specific problem that you are having now. Any problem represents two opposite sides, two forces that act against each other. They originate in your mother and father. So, pick up a certain problem.
— I cannot investigate my father. I feel that mother is there.
— Do not take mother alone. Take the situation that stresses you. This is not an abstract investigation. We investigate what is hurting us.
— The negative?
— Take a real situation. We have investigated the burglary with you last week. So, investigate it and spin it up. It will manifest all the time in your life. Lean on what you have.
— It looks like, I started to see everything through the negative side only.
— That’s right. People fall asleep in the positive. The positive is great: «Stop the moment. It’s beautiful! » In the negative: «Go away the moment, you are ugly! » However, it does not leave, and we have to figure out what got stuck there. We need to have a real life situation. I keep repeating: «Use the seminar. Use each other. You are mirrors to each other. You are not simple mirrors, but mirrors that have a certain direction. You are prepared ». You can’t do it outside. You can’t do it at home. You can’t do it on a street. Nobody will understand you. So, use the time of the seminar to figure this out.
My task is to make a self-investigator out of each one of you. I don’t want to see you turn to me every minute asking: «What is this? How is that? » This will not be possible. I need you to dig into it and do it on your own. Working with others, you work with yourself. You serve as a mirror to them, and they serve as a mirror to you. Walk around, and talk to each other. Follow your impulse to talk to a student next to you. Start doing it and you will start to receive a profit of awareness. Take something that hurts you to a fellow student. Investigate it thoroughly together and get to understand it fully. Try to catch it. It is not easy, as it slips fast into the shadow. When it starts to get tough and painful, you have the best opportunity to see something. It is surfacing. When everything is OK, there is no investigation.
Catch the moments when it happens. That’s when you are attuned to it. Those are the moments when you have the inquiry to see and investigate it, instead of dulling it with a sleeping pill or a glass of alcohol. When everything is nice and well, you don’t want to do anything. When things turn sour, you have to investigate them. You cannot run away from them. Then everyone you do it with is your partner; not your enemy, but a partner. Then feel and be grateful to him or her. Remain in a state of partnership. When sorting out very painful moments, when you manifest hatred and feud, remain partners on the higher level—on the level of the investigator. You will still have to play a war between yourselves. You have to be partners in this war too, but add the investigation to this partnership. Then the war turns into an object of the investigation, instead of just being a theater where arms and legs are being cut off. You can only understand this by doing it.
You can understand this to the degree you are doing it. The more you do it, the more you will understand. You have to do it constantly, and it has to become your experience. The more of this experience you get, the faster and better you will be able to catch the experience I transmit. The key moment is to do it in order to understand yourself the way you are now, i.e. to understand your personal program. That’s the most important task now. This is your preparation for the Quantum Leap. Observing and performing self-investigation, you are moving in a right direction. You have to do this work, and you have to feel interest.
An investigator does this work with the interest that is not dual. The more interested you are, the more interesting your life is going to be. Often the word «interest» here implies «desire». That’s not correct as a desire is dual. Interest, on the other hand, is not dual. That’s what I thrive on. I thrive only on interest. My interest is my base. My work is not easy, but it is interesting. When you live on interest, everything, all these fears and horrors you are in are interesting. If it is simply scary, one is not going to look there. If it is interesting, one is interested in looking at it. Otherwise, you are not going to go there.
How do you use your problems? How do you use the situations that exacerbate your pain? Are you able to enter the Observer while you are in pain? Are you able to use the created tension to see the working mechanisms of the program?