You carry out self-investigation by studying duality. One side of a duality will always be manifested in other people. You will fight them. You will try to explain to them something you do not yet fully understand yourself. They will mirror your own incomprehension, which in the beginning will be enormous. Later, you will find other people who will understand you better, but this understanding will always be incomplete. This will continue until you feel gratitude to these people. When you feel this tremendous gratitude to people who played these complicated roles, you will connect the opposite sides of the duality you currently investigate.
In particular, your father played one of these roles. He played it mechanically, not being aware of the role he was playing, but he played it for you. You have chosen him yourself. When you start to see that, you will be swept away by this tremendous feeling of gratitude to the people that played these roles, as without them you would have never been able to understand who you are.