TGL #29. Harmony is a dynamic balance of two sides of a duality

Everyone is looking for enlightenment. People expect a constant bliss to come with it. That will not happen. From birth to death, life is a movement on a rope. Walking this rope, you have to maintain a dynamic balance all the time. You can’t stay still here, and when you move, you change. This movement requires a constant re-balancing. Enlightenment is a dynamic process that restores harmony after every manifestation of disharmony has been experienced.

Harmony is a dynamic balance of two sides of a duality

— You can understand harmony only in the presence of disharmony. In the absence of disharmony there is nothing to harmonize. If there is nothing to harmonize, there is no harmony, it cannot exist.

— And what is one to do with the slogans of harmonic relationships?

— Those slogans are empty candy wrappers people consume, blaming each other: «You are not harmonized. You are not balanced». People don’t want to occupy themselves with the details. As a result they lead a very superficial life.

— Some people strive toward “harmonious relationship” in their families.

— They do it without understanding what family consists of and what exactly needs to be harmonized. Psychologists use this term, but do they really understand what it means? No.  I will offer you a good definition: disharmony is created when you enforce one side of a duality. Harmony is achieved when you enforce the opposite side, and level the seesaw of a duality. This is a mechanic’s point of view.

— One always has to remember the second side. For example, I can jump to my «smart» part, forgetting my «stupid» part. This will cause the seesaw to flip-flop.

— The seesaw will always shake here. Moreover, you will never be able to predict what is going to happen next here. Could I have predicted what would happen this time? No. It was quite a blow. Now I have to re-balance this situation. This is akin to a driver driving on the unknown road. We are these drivers. When you enter a curvy road, you have to watch the road, and be very careful turning the steering wheel. The road in front of you changes all the time. You don’t know what kind of a road is in front of you. The only thing you can be certain of is that the road is going to change all the time. No one will be able to relax and to press the cruise control button. It will never happen. But, that’s what everyone wants.

— Yes, because it is comfortable.

— Yes. Everyone is under pressure here. Everyone wants to have a total relaxation, but total relaxation will only come with death. A completely relaxed body is a dead body. No massage can provide a total relaxation. The statement «I will bring you to a state of total relaxation» means «I will bring you to death». This is a good slogan for a killer.

— It is easy to talk about it. It is very difficult to experience this second side. It is also difficult not to experience it. This is a hard choice.

— You can’t choose not to experience something here. You will have to walk the walk. You are either going to be dragged through it or you are going to ride it on a horse. That’s the difference. You can’t avoid it.

— Fear is experienced anyway. So, one has a choice to simply experience it or to experience it in a state of awareness.

— That’s right. You better walk into your fear in full awareness.

— Fear is present anyway, so what’s the difference?

— You start to understand how fear appears. We discussed fear thousands of times. Fear appears as a result of a war between two opposite sides of a duality. These sides are in a position of a seesaw—they swing. The harder they swing, the greater your fear. What should you do? You should level the situation. How and when the situation will present itself, you don’t know. You acquire mastery of navigation in School. This is analogous to mastery of a driver. You acquire mastery of driving and steering the wheel. Carried off to the right, you need to turn the wheel to the left. Carried off to the left, you need to turn the wheel to the right. You have to navigate and master your dualities here.

— I want to clarify it. When we consciously move to the opposite side of a duality, both fear and the resistance appear, as the experience of the second side occurs under constant observation of the first side. Am I correct?  

— Yes, and the second side condemns the first, opposite to it side.

— How is one to live through the second side when the first side condemns it? One has to live through and to experience it in full. Is it possible to shake it off?

— You can do it equipped with the knowledge that the School provides. When a difficult situation appears and the see-saw starts to swing, you recall what you know about duality and you say to yourself that the fruits of creation of one side are being judged by the side that is opposite to it. The result of such judgment is condemnation. Then you enter the side that created the situation and allow it to experience kaif* of its creation. If you start to insult someone now, the other side will say: «Don’t insult him». It will condemn the side that is opposite to it, the insulting side. But if you consciously enter the side that experiences kaif of insulting him in full awareness, you will insult him without condemning yourself. We condemn ourselves for our own condemnation. We get irritated by our own irritation. We hate ourselves for our own hate. We are afraid of fear. This is fear of fear, irritation of irritation, and hate of hate.

— As one lives through and experiences the second side, its condemnation by the first side subsides. That offers an opportunity to fully be in and to experience the second side.

— Yes, that happens if you continue to remember what we discuss here. This is the light at the end of a tunnel. This is not easy to do. You have to remember it all the time. You will experience difficult situations, but you have to remember the second side all the time. You have to remember that what you are saying right now is kaif for you. When you tell your wife or your husband: «I am going to do what I think is necessary to do now», you immediately feel condemnation. But, you recall what we just discussed, and bring up the part that is experiencing kaif now.

— If you allow yourself to fully experience a difficult situation during the seminar, you will have more chances to remember, because you will take the energy of the state you receive here. I had very difficult time manifesting my negative, bad, nonentity side. But, I did it.

— You are not «nonentity». You are negative. What kind of nonentity are you? You have to come to nonentity yet. This is the light at the end of a tunnel.

— I could not accept my negative, bad side for a long time. When I finally accepted this side, I felt kaif.

— You see this as an insult, but this is a compliment to your negative side.

You have to constantly remember your dual nature. You have to constantly remember that at this moment one side of you is experiencing kaif. Unless you hold this knowledge with you all the time, you will not pass here. Until this knowledge becomes you, you will not pass here.


Situations in which you experience blame, guilt, or condemnation are disharmonious. The states of blame, guilt, or condemnation signal you that you insist on one side of a duality. That insistence creates imbalance and suffering. What are these situations?

Take a look in which particular duality the imbalance appears. Remembering that in order to harmonize the duality, you need to reinforce its opposite side, determine, what exactly that side is, and manifest it.

Pay very close attention to changes in your states. Observe your emotional relaxation after the opposite side of a duality manifested itself. This is how harmonization or leveling of a imbalance between two sides of a duality is being experienced.


* Kaif or Kif – from Arabic kayf pleasure. Any drug or agent that when smoked is capable of producing a euphoric condition. The euphoric condition produced by smoking marijuana.


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