— Can a man give freedom to a woman? Quite frequently, women say that men don’t give them freedom. Men say the same thing about women. In reality, neither one of them give freedom to the other. If you free your woman, she will free you. No one can force you to do it, but you can do it yourself. Tell me the truth; do you give your wife freedom?
— I spoke to my wife about this. We concluded that she cannot step over certain boundaries, while I can.
— Then, why did you attract such a woman? It appears that she wound up next to you coincidentally, but as we already know, there are no coincidences here.
— She is opposite to me in every way.
— It is exactly the opposites that attract each other and get together. That’s where all our problems are coming from. That’s how lessons are assigned in this dual world. It means, this extreme is characteristic of you also, but in her case, it is actualized, while in your case it is a potential.
Dualities, the manifestations of which we see in the outside world, are in the inner world of a human being. A man actualizes one side of it, while the opposite side gets manifested in another human being. This second side is also present in him, but he does not see it in himself.
This is comparable to an iceberg that has a visible part and an invisible part. In attracting a partner, whose visible part is opposite to your visible part, you receive the conditions of your assignment. You need this in order to see both sides of the duality and to exit it.
What kind of duality is manifested in your relationships? When the lesson has been solved and passed, you will be able to describe the whole mechanism of such a dual trap, or your lesson, with a great precession. In essence, this entire world is an illusion and a trap. The mind is constructed in a dual way. It constantly falls into the traps of dualities. This is the problem everyone talks about here. You cannot exit a trap until you simultaneously see both sides of a duality and accept them in yourself. As soon as you accept them, you find yourself in the middle and you pass through it. The pass is in the middle of duality. That’s where the solution of any dual lesson happens to be.
A magnet has a positive side and a negative side. They create a strong voltage between them. You are being thrown between one pole and another. By stabilizing yourself in the middle, you become neutrally charged. A neutral particle can pass without being attracted to these poles. That’s what you need to achieve inside yourself. You need to become neutral in relationship to duality.
Any one of your problems represents one or a few dualities that are pulling you to different sides. This is a lesson. First, you need to define a duality or a trap you fell into. As a rule, another human being expresses the opposite side of a particular, currently activated duality. To harmonize your relationship with him, to accept and to become grateful to him is to achieve neutrality inside yourself.
Your greatest teachers are people with whom you have had the most difficult and painful relationships. When the lessons you have studied together are passed, you will experience enormous gratitude to them for going through these lessons with you.
— I have experienced multiple conflicts with my husband, but I don’t feel grateful to him. I feel he could have been different.
— It means that you still want something from him, i.e. your lesson continues. In a state of neutrality, all your expectations disappear. You accept things the way they are. You see that other people simply perform the roles you need them to perform. Your husband, son, daughter, and other people simply play these roles. While passing through a lesson, you experience great dramatization and identification with them. When a lesson has been passed, you see what kind of a show it was.
— I am in a similar situation. It seems to me that I do everything I can on my side to harmonize the situation, but …
— Okay. What is your major problem? Which role are you investigating now?
— I spoke about mother, and then, digging further, I transferred to wife.
— Your wife does not meet your expectations. Your problems with her are due to her not meeting your expectations. You think she should do things a certain way, but she does them differently.
— She manifests intolerance and impatience. She does not want to listen. She is unable to perceive my point of view. It seems to me, I don’t have these qualities.
— She reflects your qualities to you. Look at yourself when you happen to be intolerant and when you don’t accept another man’s point of view. How does your intolerance manifest itself in relationship to women? It manifests itself already in your intolerance to your wife’s intolerance. Other people are mirrors that reflect our hidden qualities to us. But we don’t want to understand that. We see only negative qualities in others. We don’t see them in ourselves. And we continue to fight against ourselves in the image of another human being. Such conflict is very difficult and painful. You believe that you are fighting others, while in reality you fight yourself.
When you hate someone, you hate yourself. When you insult someone, you insult yourself. When you kill someone, you kill yourself. Once you understand this mechanism, you need to rethink and rebuild your thinking process, which is currently based on the illusion of separation. This illusion makes you think that the negative qualities you see in others are theirs, not yours.
You need to return to yourself everything you say to other people, and review it from the point of view of yourself. I am here to stimulate you to understand that you always speak about yourself. See it and become aware of it. Some people have a very strong reaction to this statement. They scream and run away, because they cannot comprehend that.
They want to think the old way: “I am okay, I am normal, it is the world around me that is bad and people are nasty. Horrible things happened to me because of these people.” They don’t understand that this world is a reflection of themselves. Who is the director of your life? Why do these things happen to you? Nine men out of ten will tell you that this is due to life circumstances that don’t depend on them.
— Is it enough to see it once, that all of it is your own doing?
— No, once is not enough. You need to start and to do this work point by point. And there are many points here. The thinking process that is habitual here, separating and projecting, maintains a completely different perception of what is happening. You, on the other hand, must create a thinking process of an aware human being in yourself, who understands and takes responsibility for what he does. If you are insulted and hold a grudge against someone, you take offence of yourself.
Each one of us has an inner man and an inner woman. We can investigate our inner man and woman only through our relationships with the external men and women. If you don’t accept men, it is your unacceptance of your inner masculine part. The same can be said about your feminine part. This needs to be investigated using the correct thinking process, not by falling into the habitual separating and projecting thinking pattern. The inertia of the old thinking process is very powerful and should not be underestimated.
All of humanity will be able to ascend. The time of loners who could become enlightened on their own has ended. The fate of civilization depends on the decision humanity will make: civilization may disappear, or it may be reborn on a completely different level of consciousness. This is not going to be an achievement of lone wolves. It will be a joint process.
The power of even a small number of people who will persevere on this road will be very strong. The energy of new vibrations will be everywhere, and even without understanding what is going on, people will feel it. A certain critical mass is necessary for humanity to transfer to the new level of consciousness.
This is what Ascent is about. This is my main work here. Will we remain in hell or get to the spheres of enormous possibilities—the choice is ours. Will we choose the habitual, wishing to be more spiritual while soaking in hell, or jump and push through?
This work is not easy. It requires all of you, but, in my opinion, nothing else is important here. Everything else is just a means for this. I do not negate anything. Everything is important, but only from the point of view of this work.
Everything is important in this world, and everyone gets attracted to exactly where he needs to be attracted to in order to receive certain, necessary for him, experience. And this is great. But do we use this experience for the investigation and Ascent, or do we live through it mechanically, trying to grab more for ourselves and to get more comfortable in our sleep?
— I thought my relationship with my father was water under the bridge because he died. Given every chance, I judged his behavior, and I made a negative example out of him. I understand now that I did not have a good father—daughter relationship. I was told very early that I must become independent. Mom tried sporadically to express her concern for me, but I felt left out very early.
— Who is a father? A father is a man who takes care of his child. A husband does not take care of his wife the way father takes care of his child.
— I try to compensate it in my relationship with my son, in order for him not to feel what I felt. Neither one of my two husbands gave me the attention I needed. I always felt that I had to support myself. Neither one of them could perform his role.
— They could not perform it, because it was not planned in your experience at that period of your life.
— I understand now that it could not have happened, because I did not experience it with my father.
— Great. Would you want to feel it?
— Of course. I came to conclusion that one’s relationship with God is one’s relationship with one’s father.
— And with one’s mother. Why is it so important for us to be our parent’s children in everything? It is important in order to join father and mother in ourselves. They left us with the inheritance of all their unsolved problems. We must solve them now. We need to accept and understand our mother and father. We will only be able to understand our personal programs through them.
When someone in a family line starts to do this, the energy of liberation passes through the entire ancestral line. To accept your parents, you need to see many things. You have chosen your parents yourself in order to receive the experience you needed. They provided this experience for you. Everyone here received exactly what he needed to receive.
Unless you understand this, you will be stuck in eternal accusation and unacceptance. You will stop experiencing these feelings if you come to understand that you have created your script yourself, entered it, and received what you needed. You need to accept what you received, because it was you who wanted to receive this experience. So, accept it and thank your father and mother for providing this experience for you.
— I felt more like a mother than a father in relationship to my son.
— Yes. You had to perform that role. We need to sort out why you block manifestation of a father in your life. This script was not chosen coincidentally. Which side of the experience have you investigated, and which side you have not investigated yet?
It is usually the negative side that is predominantly explored here. Because of this, a strong tilt to one side of a duality occurs. Investigate the positive side of this question. But to do that, you need to accept and understand the negative side, as the positive side is its continuation.
I am trying to develop a paradoxical thinking pattern of the self-investigator in you. If you accept this, you will begin to investigate your life. You will become your own teacher. The Supreme “I” is this experimenter and teacher, and you need to be connected to your Supreme “I”, i.e. to yourself. If there is a connection with the Supreme “I”, you will come to understand why you came here and what your lessons are to be.