The most important thing is to remain in the Observer
— I understand that the field around me changed. I used to easily get excited or upset before. I don’t react to many things now, even though I am still very attentive to the fight that goes on around me. I have never experienced this state during the seminars. I used to jump into these fights; sitting in the chair my fists would clench from time to time. So, my question is, “Is this a change in the field or am I just scared? Did I stop getting into these fights because I am afraid of something?”
— The fight always pulls you in. Some people sit tight, other jump in. Everybody wants to have a piece of it. Some are afraid, but everyone wants it. As long as you want to enter the fight, you will be in it. It will pull you in. How can you get out of it? You have to experience it to the fullest. You have to get tired of it. Do you understand? You have to get tired of it.
— Are you telling me that I should get into these fights now, when I understand…?
— Yes, you need to get into these fights as hard as you can. You need to become aware of it. Until you are tired of the fight, you will not find a way out. If you try to block it, thinking, “No. Everything is good. Everything is normal,” you will not see anything.
— I am trying to figure out what’s going on inside me. I either get turned on or I don’t get turned on. However, my mental sphere constantly thinks: “How can I fit better in here?” If a fight is interesting, I get in, but if it is not interesting…
— The point is not even in a fight, but in your interest in the fight itself. That is how the matrix operates. We are talking about awareness. When I say: “Get into the fight,” I only say it in order for you to become aware.
— Well, sometimes I am afraid.
— Right. I have a formula: “Look for awareness, everything else will come.” Especially if you are living through something, feeling something new and attempt to control yourself. As soon as I try to hold myself in check, new states vanish. We are constantly evolving. If you are drawn to something, go there, look, and investigate. Then you would not lose it.
— I was bored. I simply observed that I was bored.
— Boring is not it yet. Be aware. I am also bored, but I am working on awareness. I don’t simply say, “I am bored.” This is a defense.
— Yesterday you spoke about boredom. Few days ago I was in a sort of neutral state. I absorbed what you were saying very well. I was in full understanding what I, I mean the Ego, was doing. You started to talk about boredom and suddenly I realized that I was bored with my game. It is a hydra with thousands heads that change every minute. One needs to be on a constant alert to see it.
— If you are bored, be aware of your boredom. If you grieve—be aware of yourself grieving. Whatever happens—be aware of what is happening. Awareness does not require you to be creative; it is a fixation of what is the way it is.
— At any given moment?
— Yes, at any given moment there is something to be aware of. Can you be aware of this something? The states that you are not aware of or cannot become aware of pull you in. You get identified with them. There are states that are very difficult to be aware of. Boredom is one of them.
— So, if I am bored, I need to become aware of why I am bored?
— You don’t need to understand anything. This mode of observation is not connected to understanding. This is just an observation. You become aware of this state and you are already not this state. That’s the key. When you become aware of something, you are already not it. You are already the one who is aware of it. Then you will become aware of yourself being aware. This is the most important thing here. You move into something else. Otherwise, you are the boredom. But if you observe the boredom—you are the Observer. That’s the key concept.
— Above the boredom?
— Above everything, whatever it is, to maintain the state of an Observer.
— When I am in boredom, I can understand my boredom. When fish is in the water, it can understand water.
— You can investigate and see the mechanisms of your program only when you are de-identified. Observation is the first step. When you observe something, you can describe it as a mechanism. If you do not observe, you cannot describe anything.
— So, who is the first?
— The observer is always the first. The investigator uses the opportunity to de-identify. If there is no de-identification, there is no investigator. One does not have anything to investigate. One is identified with a theme of the investigation, and one stops being the investigator.
— I am afraid to say that I am afraid. I cannot manifest it.
— So, you are identified with it.
— Yes, I am identified with fear. I need to work through my fear and to become fearless.
— This is not fear. This is the fear of fear. It is doubled. Whatever it is, it’s being squared and you get: fear—fear, horror—horror, guilt—guilt, and judgment—judgment. You start to judge and judge yourself for your own judgment. That’s how complicated it is. These states are being reinforced.
— What if something has been played out already? One has been in the plus, and one has been in the minus. One does not want to go into the same thing again.
— If you don’t want something, it means that you are in it. Do you understand? You have been here and there like a school girl: “I played here and I played there.” Whatever happens—just observe it. You don’t know what’s going to happen. You don’t know! I used to say: “Here is one thing, here is the second thing, and here is the third one. I am already here…” I don’t say it anymore. I don’t know what is going to happen. Anything can happen any minute. My task is to observe.
— Yes, I am interested in emotional state. It is fear you are facing or you don’t understand anything and don’t know what to expect. On the other hand it may also be trust.
— Okay. If there is trust, observe it. Do not take anything as a final product. Everything here is an illusion. Everything! On the level of mental concepts, on the level of states, and on the level of physical sensations—everything is an illusion. But only the Observer can see it. If this world was not illusory, one would not be able to get out of it. It is precisely because it maintains the notion that it is real, not illusory, that it maintains itself.
Physicists recently came to conclusion that everything is determined by the Observer. They were investigating the objective reality. They were investigating certain laws that appeared solid to them. It turned out not to be the case. It turned out that whatever the Observer expects—the Observer receives. Everything is determined by the Observer. Each one of them saw what he expected to see.
As you expect only what is written in your program, you see only what your program expects you to see. So, if you can’t see the program, you become a fixed Observer who is programmed to observe and to see only what is written in your program. That’s it. This is what real for you. Nobody will be able to change your mind, because it is real for you.
— Let’s say I am observing my fear of something. Is there a point in switching this fear of?
— What can you switch? All the switches are in your program. You are not in control of the switch panel. It is not you who is doing the switching. Your program switches you, creating an illusion that you have consciously switched something. You can observe the work of your program and all its switches. What it switches and where does it switches to? This is a theoretical discussion. It is cheap unless you have this experience. For you it is just new information.
— We need to experience it.
— When you stabilize in the Observer more and more, you start to see how illusory everything is. This is not Pint’s mental conclusion. This is a result of the work of Pint’s Observer. He is not delivering you some kind of original knowledge, but describes a certain experience connected to his observations. Otherwise, you will think: “An illusion. What kind of an illusion is it? Perhaps, it is not an illusion.”
— Can I bring up an example, so I can understand if this is an observation or another illusion of mine. I walked toward Michael and I felt: I want—I don’t want. As I felt it, I observed that I needed to provoke him to hit me.
— So, you are observing the thought: I need to provoke him. Next, you observe the state that is connected to it. Then you observe the movements of your body connected to this state. Observe. That is what I am talking about: “Observe!” Otherwise, you fix it: “I need to provoke him. I need to hit him really hard.” And then you are simply a machine. But, if you observe, you are a car that is being observed.
— This car of mine works in a funny way: I need to push myself hard down into the victim role before I can flip into an oppressor.
— You are not pushing yourself into the victim role. We are dealing with the forms of speech again, and our language is created in such a way that we willingly or unwillingly constantly use the word “I.” Then we say: “I do this. I do that.” We maintain an illusion that I do all of this. And Pint constantly asks: “Who is this “I” who is doing all of this?” To this question you do not have the answer. You swallow it, and then everything repeats again. Language itself is made in such a way that it maintains this illusion as real. It maintains the illusion that you manage and control it, that you are someone who can change something. This is an illusion. But this illusion can be seen only through the Observer. Otherwise, it is not an illusion, it appears real to you.
— Do I immediately get identified as soon as I pronounce: “I”?
— As soon as you pronounce: “I,” you immediately consider that you are something separate that should and can control and manage the external environment in order to manipulate and receive something it needs. And what does it need? It needs to be important. It needs to win something or someone. It needs to get money or some goodies. All of this is an illusion. But in a sleeping state of consciousness or without an Observer this cannot be understood.