The question is who am I now, and who can I become later on?
Later will happen later. Later is the opening of the next levels. Now is now. It is neither bad nor good, but if you want to move forward, you need to see clearly what is happening now.
— But present builds on the past. One probably would have to return to the past.
— In your present, everything is past. In the illusion of linear time it appears that the past has passed and we forgot it. No. Every single moment of the present carries every second of the past in it. All our thoughts, feelings, and actions result from what happened in the past. We carry it along. A little girl who was scorned and a little boy who was hurt are always inside. They will not disappear until you review all the painful experiences of your past. They will not disappear until this boy and this girl receive what they needed to receive back then.
We can change our future only by changing our past. Otherwise, we would constantly recreate our past in our future, i.e. repeat it. The point of the intersection of the past and the future is the current moment. It is through the current moment that we can change our fate, as it belongs to both our past and our future. But in order to do so, one has to become aware of oneself in the past coming from the notions of oneself in the future. Most people think that the past is something that happened and cannot be changed. This is not so.
— So, if I were to return to the situation I lived through and to replay it, to review and re-experience it from a new point of view … fill it with new feelings and emotions…
— What you have experienced back then is just one of the options of living through a situation. You return to a particular situation now, and you experience it differently. The whole experience of your life can be viewed as a collection of Lego pieces that you can put together differently. This is your own construct. You have built it yourself. Now you can put these pieces together any way you want and receive completely different configurations of your experience. In this way, by changing the past, you change the future, and by changing the future, you change the past. You begin to understand that past and future represent a certain illusion of a given training playground and start to create your life in full awareness.
The training playground “Earth” was created in order to prepare human consciousness for creativity of higher levels. On a current level, creativity has only physical characteristics. We embody our thoughts and feelings into physical objects and situations. This is a peculiarity of creativity of the three-dimensional reality. All your thoughts and feelings always lead to something physical. This illusion is created by your mind. By changing your mind, you can change your surroundings, similarly to kids playing in a sandbox. They build something out of sand, and then they break it to build something new. But this game has a major limitation that I call duality. While in duality, you can only create contradictions. That’s why exiting duality is so important for us. That is the only way to start to create from intention, not from the opposite desires.
— I have impressions from childhood. I remember my kindergarten, certain pictures come up. Someone hurt me there really bad. I am constantly trying to figure out who it was. I want to return and to replay this situation, but as soon as I see that kindergarten room or smell kasha, I get nauseated. What is it?
— In order to understand this, you need to review and re-screen the old shows of your life. Through these reviews, you can enter these situations and change them. During an individual review, you can exit this reality and enter other realities. You can solve what appears to be unsolvable here.
— So, it is possible?!
— Initially, I had an impression of a total chaos, but now, after you said what you have said, I see a picture. If now we create the future, we have to sincerely see what we are in right now. One cannot move forward by building the illusions and fooling oneself. I just saw what kind of a mess is in my head. One can only build a new playground if one honestly acknowledges to himself, irrespective of how painful and scary it is, what one is currently in.
— Exactly. Also, remember that you will not be able to understand everything we discuss right away. It will happen gradually. So, buy the audio and video materials of our school and work with them. By listening to them, you will extract certain moments with which you will resonate at that moment and spin it to awareness. And the more you review, spin, and become aware, the broader and more voluminous your vision will be.
— I realize that aggression and hate are constantly present in a human being. The level of these emotions is quite high based on what we have seen yesterday. It is just waiting to be expressed. Everyone carries and reacts to his own set of hooks. And one will inevitably spill it out. The reaction can be stronger or weaker depending on the situation.
— Yes, that happens constantly, either externally or internally.
— So, there is certain level of aggression that needs to be spilled somehow. It is just waiting for a cause.
— Well, the cause will always be found by the conditioned mind.
— A man is drinking. He is asked, “Why do you drink?” “How can one not drink here?” he answers.
— That is right.
— A man starts shooting. And how can he not shoot if everyone around here wants to kill him? Behind all of this is hate. This hate simply finds different forms of expression and different explanations.
— I am trying to figure out what we can do about this.
— Nothing. We need to see it clearly. There is nothing to do. You start right away: “Oh! Horror! What can I do?” You have lived in this all your life, and now, seeing just a tiny part of it, you get hysterical. What did you do before? Begin to see what you are in, just observe. Awareness is action. It changes the program of the old matrix of consciousness. One does not need to do anything. One sees something and immediately starts to think what to do with it. Should I move it away? Should I throw it away? No. To see means to see your persona the way it is right now. Yes, there is a lot of hate there. Yes, that is the way you are. When you start to see it, it will start to change. The holistic vision itself changes everything. Nothing else needs to be done.
— I thought it had to be balanced by some physical action. I thought one had to hit a pillow or something.
— No. We need to start to see what is going on clearly.