Irritation

— People are on a bus with me riding to work, and I project myself onto them. Here is a homeless man lying on the street. Part of me wants to move away from him because he stinks. But another part says, “Stay! Smell it!” I don’t like it. I am thinking, “In reality, this being is similar to me. Something inside of me is similarly rotten and smelly. I just had an opportunity to see the physical aspects of it.” I hang around, and I smell it.

— Nobody will give you anything. You have to work. Everything that happens to you in this life is created by you, but you do not understand it.

— This situation caught my attention.

— If something caught your attention, you need to become aware of the duality that was activated by the situation.

— What should happen in order for me to see it?

 I repeat, you need to start seeing the specific duality that you have activated. I repeat multiple times, but no one hears it. You keep singing your own songs.

— In this particular case, the duality is “clean—dirty.” Am I correct?

— Okay. Start to investigate it. Is it “clean—dirty” or something else? What irritates you in this homeless man? Is it the fact that he is without a tie or the fact that he is without a job? Perhaps it’s the fact that he is penniless or the fact that he has no place to sleep. What is it exactly? That’s what needs to be investigated. You cannot do it all at once. You can find one duality and then suddenly see another. Then, the third one will pop up. You need to pay attention to this.

First, if something irritates you, you need to allow yourself to feel this irritation. That’s what we were doing yesterday. To put it simply, that was “love—hate.” Love attracts, hate repulses. Hate declares itself differently: irritation, aversion, aggression, wrath, condemnation, hysteric outburst. You can continue yourself. Those are different states that reflect non-acceptance of something. Currently, you understand that non-acceptance, hate in its different forms, appears as a result of one of my sides meeting another side of me.

There is nothing in life except you. If you think someone slipped you a dirty bum in order for you to smell his bad breath, you are mistaken. If you think this bum has nowhere to go but stay in front of your eyes, you are mistaken again. The only correct way to understand this situation is to understand that everything I encounter in my life is me. Out of all those things, some cause irritation, i.e. hate. Until you accept that you have both love and hate in you at the same time, you will not be able to perceive them as two sides of one coin.  

 

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