This world is ruled by the law of a dual perception. A dual perception submerges you into one side of personal duality, negating its second side. The creativity of one side of a personality is appraised by its opposite side. This appraisal is negative and unaccepting, because one side creates something opposite of what another side is dreaming about. That’s where all our sufferings are coming from.
Being rich, you are simultaneously poor. Being rough, you are also tender. However, your conditioned mind is unable to see the opposite sides of personality simultaneously, as it wants to see only the positive side, fighting its own negative side. The exit out of the prison of dual perception is in our ability to become aware of our personal dualities. To solve a dual lesson is to see and to accept both sides of a duality in oneself.
I occupy myself with doing nothing
— I blame others for criticizing me. In particular, I blame others for criticizing me for not doing anything.
— You mean, for you being lazy?
— No, precisely for not doing anything. I am not working right now.
— So, you «occupy yourself» with doing nothing?
— Your business is to do nothing. When you are told: «You are not doing any work», you answer: «I am occupied with doing nothing ». This is not a simple task either. In such a way, your self-importance is maintained—you don’t simply don’t do anything, you are occupied with it. That’s a good approach to maintain self-importance.
— I like this approach.
— Who prevents you from saying it?
— They accuse you of being lazy, of not doing any work. You support them in their notion that a human being should do some work. If one is not working, one’s life is meaningless—time is lost, life is wasted, etc. Is that what concerns you?
— Yes. This is it.
— That’s why as a joke, even though every joke contains only a small part of a joke, I offer you to say that you «occupy» yourself with doing nothing. It is as difficult to do as to occupy yourself with running a business. You satisfy a requirement of your opposite side—one side wants to do it, while another side does not want to do it.
In reality, «not doing» happens to be one of the techniques in Indian culture that Castaneda describes pretty well. People of the West are doers. They do, and do, and continue to do. But try not doing.
The fact of not doing by itself stresses the western personality greatly, as it views «not doing» as an indicator of its worthlessness. Look at the specificity of different cultural programs. For example, a program assigned in the United States will differ from a program assigned, for example, somewhere in India. India is rapidly changing, but nevertheless.
Another side of you that does not want to do anything is also very important and necessary for you.
— I understand it now.
— To understand something intellectually is one thing, but to feel it is a completely different thing. You have to allow yourself to do nothing, and to feel the joy of doing nothing.
In any situation, irrespective of what happens to you, you always satisfy a desire of a certain part of yours. At the same time, your opposite part blames you for it. That’s how interesting it is. It blames and cause you to experience tension and to feel bad. Whatever you do, there would always be an opposite part that would blame you for it.
For example, you are doing something, and your opposite part blames you for it and says: «Why are you running around like crazy? » But as soon as you move to the part that does not do anything, this non-doing part will start to hear screams from the opposite part, the part that wants to do something.
In any case, we have blame and suffering. That’s why a human being that is in a state of «sleep of consciousness», or the fight of the opposite sides of personality, is always suffering.
Now you can clearly see the mechanism of the creation of this suffering. Now you understand the importance of my offer to transfer the interrelationship of those opposite sides from fight to partnership, i.e. to stop the blame. Partnership is not to blame.
— When one side manifests itself—accept it. When another side manifests itself—accept it too.
— Yes. This is easy to say, but as we can see, this is not so easy to do. For example, consciously you are a doer. It is because you are a doer that you completed your undergraduate work, found a job, created a family, and gave birth to a child.
But subconsciously, you are a «not doer». Now you have to accept your subconscious side. And look how difficult it is. Can you «not do» anything?
As soon as you start to «not do» anything, you hear condemning screams from all sides, to which you react by getting offended. In reality nobody screams at you. You scream at yourself. The doing side starts to accuse and to blame the non-doing side. The external surroundings simply reflect this in order for you to see this war.
— Yes, I understand that those are my own parts that reflect to me my own blame.
— To understand this is the first step. What’s next? How can you bring the level of those screams and accusations down? As you start to accept your inner, subconscious part, which we will call a «non-doer» part, those screams and their amplitude will diminish, the degree of your blame of yourself will diminish. That will only happen when you start to accept this particular part of yourself.
The external world is just the indicator which shows you the degree of your acceptance of yourself. If you were to come and tell me: «I have totally accepted myself, but somehow some people continue to ask me: «Why don’t you do anything? », I would tell you that you have not accepted this part—you just have the illusion that you did.
In order for you to make sure that you have accepted it, you need to look at the external world. When the external world will stop accusing you for it, it will mean that you really accepted it. Not sooner.
The external world is you. From the external world come the screams and the situations that show you yourself. Without it, we would not be able to investigate ourselves and progress toward Wholeness. Without it, we would not be able to understand ourselves at all. The external world provides us with this opportunity.
— Thank you. I am trembling inside.
— This is normal. It indicates that we hit the nail on the head. We got to your question.
What do people accuse you of? What irritates you in their accusations more than anything? Using the accusation of the external world as a reflection of your own accusation, determine what exactly you don’t accept in yourself and blame yourself for.
Determine what good and useful qualities the part of you that you consider to be negative carries. That will be your first step on the road of accepting your shadow side.